How not to tell your child you're not married.

Mother: Tomorrow his father will talk with HR about the insurance.

(pause)

Mother: I would talk to them but since they don't know I am around, you know because were not married.
11 year old child: (Eyes the size of saucers and practically falling out of his chair) WHAT?? YOU AND DAD ARE NOT MARRIED????
Mother: UH
Child: You have two kids, a house and your not married??  WHAT?
Mother: (look of death on her face)

Me thinking: (Trying not to show my interior laughing fits) That is going to be a weird ride home.