IEPs

Well I had a great post... Then I hit the stupid undo button and lost it all.... You've got to be kidding me.  I'm not in the beat mood this week and my explanation was just deleted.  How do you think that makes me feel? Awesome.

I don't have the time or the patients to explain why guess I'll try again tomorrow.  Grrr.   

Close call

One of the best things about working in the schools is the theme days they have.  I really think that they are more for the teachers especially the pajama days.  Today I thought was one of those days.  I'm in my yoga pants and show up to school.  However, I was there fairly early today and didn't see anyone.  Then all of a sudden in see two teachers, not in their pjs...uh oh.  Did I read the e-mail wrong, was it really next Monday?  Small panic attack followed by quick math of leaving, changing, and getting back to work.  I whip out my computer and check my email.  All good, it was today.  Tomorrow at my other school it is pj day too.  Score!

Thoughts

One of the reasons I wanted to go back to blogging was because I feel like my brain is always on.  Sometimes it comes up with some weird scientific questions, sometimes it replays events from my day with alternative endings, some times it just gets stuck in thought.  When my brain does this I have a tendency to feel weird while expressing these thoughts.  All throught life we get a lot of practice expressing two emotions: happy and anger.  Happy is the easy one, anger we are taught what is acceptable and how to control it.  But the other emotions are hard, sometimes I can't even appropriately label the emotion I feel.  Therefore, blogging allows me to express my thoughts without the actual awkward social interaction that I want to avoid.  I do want people to know the thoughts but I don't necessarily feel comfortable in that moment.  I guess this is the point that I should warn all of the emotional readers out there at work (Mom), if I as reading this I would probably cry.  So close down the web page and wait for later or grab your tissues and here we go...

This year has already put our family though a bit of a roller coaster and we are bairly 60 days in.  During the first few weeks of the year we found out BJ's mother was rediagnosed with breast cancer but that was all we knew.  We spent many days talking about what test she was going to have, what it would tell us and how would we react to the information we would get.  It came down to cancer localized in just her breasts which would mean chemo followed by a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.  All very scary.  All kinds of emotions that we didn't have a lot of practice dealing with.  I mean his family hasn't yet healed from the loss of BJ's grandfather in August, let alone a new family member being horribly ill.  But as the weeks go by the thoughts that are stuck in my head are these:

-Several years ago a pastor did a sermon on Why God? The question we all ask when bad things happen to good people.  The result of the sermon was we are asking the wrong question.  We should be asking "What do you want me to learn from this God?"  So I have been.  Still waiting on my answer, but I think I may be able to help my mother-in-law with her answer. 

-God creates us both externally and internally but sometimes our eyes and minds overlook our best assets that we are given.  My mother-in-law is a strong woman who has had to deal with lots of things in her life that most couldn't imagin.  But I don't think she knows how strong she is.  She has one of the most kind hearts, which makes her a great nurse, but again I don't think she knows it.  She also had beautiful red hair, that she did know.  But notice it is now a had, the chemo that will fight off the cancer stripped her of her hair, but it can't take away the other parts of her.  I think God needed her to know her true beauty.  She needs to be able to see how amazing of a person she is, no matter what she looks like.  This weekend we spent Saturday with all the family and you know what? The littlest kid, never even noticed.  He knows and sees the true beauty, love.  He loves her and she loves all of us.  

-I also feel that this strong, caring heart has taken away her time to really focus on herself.  She is so concerned about how everyone else is she forgets to be just the smallest bit selfish and do things for her.  Well now she is doing things for herself and saying things to people she might not have before.  It pains me to see great people be taken advantage of and walked over just because they are too afraid of the others views.  In reality most people don't even know that they are doing something rude or wrong.  I mean how many times do people get into arguments because they thought the other person knew something they didn't? More often than we probably think.  I just hope she continues to say what she feels, and listen to the responses she gets.

Tomorrow is treatment number two which will take us on yet another crazy ride, but as her body fights the cancer she grows stronger in ways I bet she never knew and I the end she will have boobs perkier than most twenty year olds and more hair/wigs than most actresses and her inner beauty will be shining out of ever part of her.  Talk about life cycle of a butterfly...

Funny

I'm not 100% on why I found this so funny! but I did.  I now present to you a Siberian Husky wearing a Siberian Husky hat.  

Maybe it's the eyes. Who knows, but it made me laugh.

On another note:

Happy birthday to my father in-law enjoy your youth.

Another note:

It was a warm 40 today with steady rain and now fierce winds that might blow us to Florida, which would be Awesome!

Sorry that dog put me into a slap happy mood today.  

Summer

Okay, well maybe not quite there yet but we are getting closer, I can feel it.  Today it actually was up to 44 degrees, which according to the radio has been the first day since the end of January to be over freezing.  Wahoo! I actually was excited for this week of weather, 40's all weekend rain on Thursday.  Then next week it will be back to the 20s...all week.  Boooo!

On a related note I'm almost done with my boat.  I think I may need it soon.

Wonder what snow looks like?

Well I'm not going to show you. If you want to see what snow looks like please go to Facebook and look at any and all people who live in any of the northern states. Also if you want to see the temp here open up your weather channel app and see for yourself. Instead I will show you my boys together on the couch watching dad race cars.  

I love both my boys and my youngest boy loves his daddy. And my oldest boy loves his son. 

P.S. Go Hawks!

Auto show

For the 6th year in a row we went to the Chicago Auto Show for our Valentine's Day celebration.  Most people don't enjoy the auto show,it it doesn't bug me.  After awhile most of the cars start to look the same but I don't care. My husband seems to enjoy it and he knows more about cars than I do.  The first year we went I was pregnate with my little monkey and this year was the first year since we didn't drag a stoller around with us.  I was not sure how Elijah would do with all the walking but he did it without needing to many breaks.  Here are some pictures of our day.  

 

 

At the end of the day Elijah was rewarded with ice cream and was aloud to throw some money into the fountain to make a wish.  When he was done I asked him what his wish was and it was to see Grandma, I kid you not within minutes I get a text from Grandma wondering if we were still there.  Yup his wish came true.  As we wre tucking him in that night, he told me his favorite part of the day was the whole thing.  Can't beat that can you!

If I had to pick it for him though it would have been the hand stamp he got, ice cream, making silly movies, or sitting in all the driver seats. 

Who? Who?

Elijah learned a new joke this weekend, compliments of my mom, here it goes the best it can for a one sided joke experience.

Knock knock

Whose there?

Cow says?

Cow says Who?

Cows don't say who they say moo!!!

But what does say who you ask? Why they owl that lives in our hood.  He has been coming out more, not sure if he is hungry because there is so much snow or if he is just keeping a friendly eye on the neighborhood.  If he is hungry I would gladly invite him into our dead body room (aka the wasted space under our stairs that is the closest thing we have as a crawl space/basement) where all the mice seem to be visiting during these cold months.  

Tonight however, I thing his wooing??? If that's what you call what an owl does, woke up the dog.  We went to see if we could spy our night time friend and sure enough there he/she was sitting on the top of the house across the street from us.  I think he needs a name this is the third time this winter I have heard him, and the third time I have seen him since we moved it. (Assuming the owl I saw leaving work in November was the same one). Any suggestions on a good owl name and although he is white I will not accept Hedgwig.  That bird died a horrible death and I want to keep this one around a while.  Just saying.  

False spring

When I wake in the morning I always peak out the window across the room hoping for a sneak peak of the weather. Today when I got up I saw a bit of the sunrise and was excited that it was a sign of spring! Wahooo! I should also mention that last night I did not sleep well and did not feel well most of the day.  In fact, as I'm writing this I am laying in bed and will be asleep within the hour.  I slowly started getting ready taking several breathers along the way praying I would be able to make it into work.  After my shower, is shuffled out of the bathroom wanting to lay back down before dealing with my hair, makeup, and clothes, I casually glance at the clock and notice it says 7:00.  Here is the internal dialogue that followed.  

Hmmm that's odd, I think I typically leave the house for work at 7:00.  I think I leave for work that 7:00, ugh I really don't feel well.  What time did I tell my mom to be here today that's when I typically leave.  I think it was between 7:00-7:30.  How did I take an hour and a half shower and not run out of water.  Wait, what time is it.  Yup 7:05.  How the heck am I going to get this done?

End internal dialogue, begin external dialogue.  BJ, GET UP IT'S 7:00 I MUST HAVE TURNED OFF MY ALARM. GET UP GET UP!  

I then proceded to run around unorganized opening doors, getting Elijah, looking for my clothes.  It wasn't until I was in my schools parking lot that I realized the sun I saw at what I thought was 5:30 was really the 6:30 sun.  Well that sucks! Guess I'll just have to wait a bit longer until spring.  

Rescue

When we first got our dog we had issues to say the least.  After trying to train her we came to realize she was a bit, well, different.  She wasn't motivated by food when there was ANYTHING that could distract her.  Our training method was a positive reinforcer, you do what we tell you to do, you get a treat.  Guess what, she didn't do so well.  We also never were able to solve our dominance issues.  We finally had a sit down meeting with one of the "behavior specialists" and were told that we were going to have to choose between our new dog or children because she would never be good with kids.  This caused a huge fight between BJ and I.  He refused to give up on the poor puppy, and I couldn't imagin putting our children in danger with a dog that could possibly bite them.  We then found a negative reinforcement training program, you do what I say or you get a pinch on your collar.  It took a while and we still do have minimal issues but nothing to big.  

That leads us to the present.  Lately, we have been having a harder and harder time finding Rescue at the end of the day.  Typically she is laying on my pillow in the middle of our bed, but the last few nights, Elijah's bed.  Last night was one of those nights.  So much so, I didn't even see her in there at first glance. 

Keep in mind my son is laying under his pillows at the top of his bed so that might have slightly distracted me.  We ended up fixing Elijah, tucking him in, and leaving him there.  Most nights, Rescue I will leave and come into our room within a couple of minutes.  This morning when we were awoken by our 7am alarm "MOMMY, THE SUN IS UP!" Which is actually translated to, Mom I'm awake can I get up, Rescue was still in his bed.  He came into our room, crawled in bed and we started talking about the dog spending the night with him.  His response, "yeah, I covered her with blue blankie." So BJ got up to go check on her...

Yup, I'm glad BJ convinced me to keep her.  Elijah loves her so much and she knows that he is her human.

On a side note, our whole story with Rescue reminds me so much of kids with behaviors or special needs.  Lots of times they just get a generic, "you should do this" without being fully understood.  Most of the kids I work with are driven my anxiety and live most of their life in a fight or flight state of mind.  Without understanding what is the cause of the anxiety to help decrease it, they look naughty.  I don't know how many kids are just given up on instead of really understood.  Just goes to show you even though she is a dog, she has taught me a ton about life. 

A Fly Went By

Not going to lie this book is probably one of my favorites for children's books.  Every time I read it though I can't help but think how times have changed.  There are multiple pages about how the fox will kill the little cow, the hunter with his gun, blah, blah, blah.  Not that anything is wrong with, mean that's what I grew up reading, I'm fine.  But I feel that with the way the world is now we shelter our children from evil then turning around to expose them to video game violence.  It's just weird.  But now this book is earning a new space in my heart, for my little boy is now reading a large percentage of the words. It's amazing hearing those words come out of him. Again...He's getting so old!

Brrr

I think I have finally hit my breaking point. I am freezing! I can't feel my nose, or fingers, or toes.  It just keeps getting colder. I am proud of myself at how long I have lasted but now I'm done.  Done, done, done!  Tomorrow is supposed to be another super cold day too. By this time I usually start my count down to warm weather, but I don't think it will ever stop so I can't start counting.  Brrrr.

Kindergarten

It can't be.  My baby is old.  Next Monday is Kindergarten registration for our home school so that's where I will be.  However, I am new to this whole school thing.  You have to jump through some crazy hoops or be super organized, neither of these things I am great at.  I need my son's most recent physical (daycare can't find it), a dental report (appointment is for Thursday after registration), and a vision exam (yeah I got nothing). I had no clue the state of no money, I mean the state of Illinois requires kids to have eye exams before entering kindergarten. Well that is not going to get done before next Monday.  I also have to bring his original birth certificate, our mortgage statement, a water bill, and a gas bill. You have to fill out about 20 forms and sign things that make me laugh for a kindergarten student, like the internet policy.  I mean my kid can bairly spell, if he gets onto a site he isn't supposed tto, call google and get him a job.  The security in the schools are crazy, I can't even get to some teacher sites because they are blocked, I think my son will be okay.  Oh and get this we have the option of either half day kindergarten or full day.  Being a kid who spends 50 hours a week in daycare, I think he can handle full day school. Plus I'm a working mother, I can't pick him up half way through the day.  Nope. Full day it is. Here's the kicker though, cost of registering a half day kid $35 bucks, full day $250... WHAT!!!! That math doesn't seem right but whatever. 

Here goes nothing...I'll let you know if I cry at registration.  

A boy and a party.

Alright so I'm blogging more, but still not taking pictures on our lives.  Let's do baby steps here okay? 

The little girl across the drive had her birthday party today.  And since her parents love her more than we love Elijah, she actually gets to invite friends to her party (but that's a story for another day).  The party was held at an indoor golf/bounce house place.  The first hour we were there the kids we're running between three bounce houses that there was no chance of taking pictures, then of course the golf was all in black light so any pictures I wanted to take just turned out black. Talk about boring.

So due to us knowing that this party was coming up and it is for one of Elijah's closest friends, I didn't tell him of the party until last night.  We went out to get a gift for her and I told Elijah that it was her birthday.  It took us a while to understand we were not getting anything for ourselves, but once he got that down he was super excited to pick out a gift.  When he woke up today he came into our room and was making the plan to get to the party at 7:30 am.  I had to explain to him that the party wasn't until the afternoon.  About an hour later as we were all still in our jammies, he was concerned we were going to miss it and needed to go.  30 minutes later while drinking my coffee I realize Eli was extra quiet to find m putting on his boots and coat.  Good grief child, we won't let you miss the party.  We were able to get him to help wrap the gift and convince him to cut his hair and shower all with the phrase, "don't you want to look and smell good for the party?"  While showering he request to were his tie to the party and I agree.  After the shower I send him down to find his tie, again he disappears for a bit and I call down to him.  He again has his boots, and coat on.  I tell him again we still have an hour to go.  We are just about to leave and I get a text from the girls mom needing a ride because he car, with the beautiful cupcakes just got rear ended.  So we told Eli we need to wait a bit and he was trying to convince us to leave her behind.  

The party was fun but bitter sweet knowing that her next birthday will be with an entire kindergarten class.  I'm so not ready for this whole school thing.  

Happy birthday Colette.